Brain Sane

My mood from the first week of med slowly diminished to the point where I am right now, and I couldn't figure out why. I've been sleeping earlier (hit bed at 11 last night, still woke at 5:30....blarg) and trying to eat better (even more fruit and fiber), and ive been dutifully putting in the hous at school. Its been wearing away at me and it hasnt even been 6 days.

Then I realized about 10 minutes ago I hadn't stretched in a week, and believe me, when you are sitting for 14 hours a day, your body gets tight. After a 2 minute session I already feel like the happiest kid on Dominica again.

But then Anatomy and Meiosis happened.

Anatomy is what happens when you are faced with a shitload of stuff that is very detailed and you have no background in, and the only thing on your mind is wishing the lecture would end. I've been in that position many times in undergrad, and the reason is simple: i dont get what the hell is going on and I'm being overwhelmed, and that can turn into a lot of negative emotions. Fear, sadness, incompetence. It's easy to forget that others dont understand the information, and in truth it doesn't matter, because its you against the Test. There's a guaranteed passing grade of 65%, above with you are guaranteed to pass, and thats what you aim to beat. If you go under, you are at the mercy of a variable Minimal passing grade, which is based on a bell curve of failing students.

Every day, I feel like I'm behind and I put in the work till midnight, and I haven't had an hour to myself since we started and it really eats away at your self-confidence, especially when you're surrounded by biochem majors, physician assistants or physiotherapists, or even PACErs. You just need to go back to the list and focus on the tasks at hand.

Thus, to add on to my earlier important reminders:

• keep specific lists
• eat more eggs/beans
• keep mind-maps hierarchical
• always smile and keep positive, it really helps with...
• focus. be vigilant, notice when the mind strays and keep it chained to its post
• do your stretches
• don't worry about the grades, worry about the process

Today is going to be a busy day, from 8AM to 5PM in class, plus studies and assignments. not sure how im going to do any/all of it in one go




EDIT: Most of the other emotions have melted away. All that remains is rage.