By last evening, I had become really anxious in terms of the amount of work I still needed to go through, to the point where it was severely obstructing my thought flow. Its easy to lose one's self in this wandering path of many trails, and can become destructive if left unchecked. I was lucky enough to have a friend see something was wrong with me and force my studious ass outside of the library by 7pm to actually eat a meal that day. Not studying for even 3 hours really gave me a chance to relax, 2 hours of which I couldn't stop thinking of going back to the library and cracking open the books/powerpoints. In that last hour, I finally gave myself an evaluation what I had been doing right and wrong.
I had fallen into "memorize everything" syndrome, which leads to high amounts of stress and less learned. Part of it is no doubt catalyzed by the sleep disability I seem to have acquired, where I can now only get about 5 hours a night, and it continuous to wreak havok on my ability to take in new material. I am going to the health clinic tomorrow to try and deal with it before this gets out of hand.
I've never considered myself an academic success, so falling into particular habits is already a fear of mine, and seeing others understand and remember concepts with ease just reinforces the bad thought spiral. I need to stop focusing on others, and just focus on the process.
Relaxing songs of the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4KOCHxUifY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8a4iiOnzsc
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