No True Scotsman

This marks the end of my fourth week of classes, and in all honestly it feels like it started last week. I'm somewhat surprised at what I can remember from the first weeks of class, enough that I can recognize some sort of long-term memories being made. For any that are familiar with Bloom's Taxonomy of Learning, I came to recognize shortly before my arrival that my entire undergraduate experience (and the resulting GPA) was very much so a product of being stuck on the first 2 levels, which consist of passive learning/memorization. Nowadays you can see me drawing arteries and dermatomes on myself or repeating ridiculous mnemonics involving singing oxes and sixties teens.

Nonetheless, Ive found that my focus as of late has been slipping. Whereas I kept a solid no-distractions policy during my initial weeks, I find myself more and more temped to visit Facebook/email/etc during the boring parts of lectures.  Every Friday evening, I see diminishing returns after 5pm, despite knowing that I must begin catching up the next morning. I used to feel threatened that friends could find the time to go swimming/snorkeling, but I just focus on myself these days. Hell, the reason I spend more time in the library is most likely because of my own distractions in studying as of late. Part of these distractions is no doubt in the beliefs in succeeding. Keeping your nose to the grindstone can be challenge when you expect results to go nowhere, and sadly the human brain is wired for lazyness.

Getting used to the idea of always being behind on your work is a very odd one, but every senior I've spoken with has confirmed that it is simply the reality of med school. Last night, in the midst of a glass of brandy, I realized a change of perception was necessary. I was always being chased by a wolf, and the farther I fell behind, the more the pressure of assignments, readings, and lectures would get to me. I'd start feeling the wolf biting at my ankles, and when I'd finally fall, well...that's the end.  I still spend my days trying to catch up. This, time, however, I'm the one chasing the wolf. The wolf is always faster and stronger you or I, but the only way to win the race is just to never give up.