The Checklist

There are days when I just have no will left to study. I've taken a few hours off, had a coffee, talked with friends, exercised, kept a positive attitude, and most importantly slept well, but I sit down at a table with hundreds of pages of work to review and my mind will be less compliant than a rock. The most prominent enemy in med school is outward, in the challenge of countless theoretical and practical examinations. Every lecture is not just a preparation for eventual practice, but first a tome that must be memorized and scrutinized to the smallest detail.

However, the enemy that lies within is one I've gotten to know well here. The longer I stay here, the more I view my mind/brain as a separate entity from my self. It is a machine, a calculator that can retain information, crunch it, and spit out results, but its tempermental as hell and needs more fine tuning than an Italian car. I spend a good chunk of my day just controlling the conditions that will allow me to work through the tasks of the day. Yesterday, I had everything necessary except specific goals, and as a result I just half-heartedly went through my notes and questions, only recognizing later how inefficient my progress was. Today, I started by going through a hundred practice questions, just to identify my weak subjects, and plan on addressing the individual points I've identified thus far.

Good hunting, fellow students of life!

Downhill

Walking to the library, I went from cool and collected to flying into some sort of epileptic seizure in under two seconds. Turns out I walked into some sort of anthill and paid for it. Bigtime. Goddamn ants. First my cereal, then my feet? You've gone too far.

Fortunately, this was shortly after visiting the pharmacy. Why the pharmacy? Well, I somehow managed to damage my ulnar nerve while I was sleeping (or possibly during a game a few days prior), leaving tingling and a slight decrease in sensation along my left pinky. As a result, I need to wear a sling over the next few days...just prior to my midterm. The only upside to this is that, waking up, I was able to self-diagnose the nerve using knowledge from my previous midterm, so not a total loss, I suppose.

If bad news comes in threes, I don't look forward to the rest of the night.

Canada Day

I've lost track of what day or week it is. There are only classes and days remaining until midterm. The questions...so many questions.

The ground shakes, drums... drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A shadow lurks in the dark. We can not get out... they are coming.