please sir, can i have some more

It's days like this I consider buying 5 Hour Energy.

Sadly, nobody sells 5 Hours of Sleep.

Stupid Brain. Stay asleep damnit. I woke up around 4:30 AM this morning and immediately started reciting the muscles attaching to the pes anserinus, as well as the medial rotators of the gluteal region. This is why I should never study at home. A combination of Netter's Interactive Atlas (convoluted UI, excellent images but limited manipulative) and Google Body (inaccurate, limited in naming certain structures such as foramen, very manipulative and useful) proved to be a good tool for just repeatedly pounding the anatomical structures into my head. I've consistently scored low on the anatomy questions in both my first and second test, despite nearly doubling the time I spend studying for it, which means I need to change my approach. Thus, I've been simply using software (and hopefully more in-lab time) to look at the same structure from 10 different angles, depths, and flavours of coffee in order to really nail the relations between muscles. This takes time out of studying innervations and blood supply, which I'll need to catch up on another time.

I couldn't go back to sleep, so after half an hour I just turned on the laptop and started going over some old and new material. By the time 7AM hit, I was toast. Blah.

Rest and Relaxation

Today....was fantastically lazy. In bed until 10, skyped with family for a while, seeing as its Father's Day weekend. Got all my laundry done, cleaned, exercised, shopped, swam and tanned at the beach. But the only thing I will remember from this night is making pan-fried hamburgers that taste identical to my grandmothers'. I've been here for just under two months, and the first time I feel homesick is from eating a crappy burned hamburger. The taste brings back memories spanning decades. The only weakness of the burgers was that they kept falling apart. Part of the problem is that my chunks of onion and tomato that went into the ground beef were too large. However, I spent a few minutes reading up on the problem, and the advice is as follows: use fresh, unfrozen, cool (not cold) meat with a higher fat content (max 80% lean),  firming the edges with your fingers, only flipping the burger once, and not pressing the meat while its cooking. Also recommended was having a dimple on the inner sides, such that the burger resembles a red blood cell, allowing for more even cooking. Sadly, I'm bound by what little IGA stocks, so if the next few trials don't turn out fantastic, I may end up using breadcrumbs, eggs, or even ground pork as binding material.

The mashed sweet potato was ok. It did not bring back any memories.

The Sriracha Chili Sauce, on the other hand, is so mind-blowing it may actually replace ketchup in my life. It is the magical rooster of flavour.

I headed back to the library at 8:30pm, because I'd feel too guilty at having a day of total relaxation. Not that there's anything left to do besides going to a bar, but I've gotten pretty bored of drinking. Moreso, I wanted to think about ways of killing my next biggest time waster.

For years, my greatest problem was focus, being able to stick to one task for any period of time exceeding 30 seconds. I'm glad to say I've found ways to get past this by finally being in a field I am passionate about, but the new bully on the block is inertia. Starting work in the morning can be a drag, especially if you ever take a look at my schedule and the work that needs to be done. Its easier to just reading some news, check emails....and poof, an hour has flown by. To defeat morning inertia, I tend to spend 30 minutes at home just browsing the net and finish up all my time-wasting there. That way, when I get to the library, I can focus straight on the work.

However, its the breaks that kill me. I can focus for a good 30 minutes without a problem, but I haven't been putting the brakes on my breaks (terrible pun) after the mandatory 5 minutes I institute for myself. Over the day, the breaks that become 10, even 20 minutes long can easily combine to form a significant fraction of a day. In any library setting, having a beeping alarm is a hassle, as it needs to be configured, or i need to wear headphones to hear it, so the optimal solution has not quite fallen in my lap yet. Soon, though, soon.

The next biggest problem is "post-prandial somnolence" (feeling sleepy after a meal). Trying to study soon after a meal tends to give headaches, and while a short 10 minute nap at home can alleviate this, I would be hard-pressed to spend the +25 minutes walking there and back. I have no clue how to tackle this either. I've changed up the diet to include more salad, but this just leaves me feeling a chronic lethargy instead of a headache. Anyways, back to the drawing board.

EDIT:
While laying in bed, it occured to me that the meals causing the greatest degree of post-meal sleepyness contained a good deal of salt. After the current batch of burgers run out, I'll give a whack at

The long road

Its been a few tough days. The midterm was a challenge that I met full-force, but burnt out immediately after. It took almost three days to mentally recover, and during this time I kept dragging myself to a library to study for the two practicals that I had the following Tuesday. This strategy proved a failure. A friend suggested just taking entire days off and actually recovering, instead of creating a non-stop flow of stress, and while this never felt right for me, its something I need to consider should the situation arise again.

One fact about studying I was taught a month before arriving, which has proved invaluable to preventing failure thus far: what feels right isn't always right. As in, while it feels better to study to 1AM and completely catch up for the night, that strategy shoots yourself in the foot. While it feels like a waste of time to hit the gym when it means you create one more hour of work to catch up on during the weekend, the stress it relieves keeps you working throughout the week at your best, and in fact minimizes your overall work. Taking a quick break every 30 minutes may seem idiotic, but it gives your brain time to memorize and store everything it just learned.

Thus, the fatherly advice I've been given my entire life of "work all day and night" nearly cost me to fail two practicals from the overwork. Over a short period of time, I can see that advice being helpful, but over a period of four years...well, following that mantra, you won't last four years here. Sometimes you have to move sideways in order to move forward.

The Big Sleep

Having studied for weeks, the examination on Friday took more of a toll on my mind and body than I had bargained for. I spent the rest of Friday in a daze, unable to concentrate on the lab notes I wanted to go over, failing to relax at a poolside, failing in my attempt to take a 10 minute nap (which lasted 3 hours), and finally a half-hearted attempt to go out and celebrate in the evening. After about 5 minutes, I was sure I didn't even want to be at the bar, but I stayed for only one reason: avoiding regret. When you only have one chance every month to go out and party, choosing to stay home and sleep or read can elicit those feelings of regret that I have felt too often in my life. I don't want to imagine all the things that I could be missing. That's why I would rather go out, have a crappy time on Friday night, and try to recover the next day.

Except that Saturday had other plans for me. The sleep schedule was still a wreck, and despite sitting in a study room for hours, I could barely even memorize a few simple concepts, which translates into a big waste of time. In the end, I just called it a night and hoped I could make up for the work in the remaining two days. went to dinner and had a delicious salad with wine. This snowballed into an open-mike night, ice-cream, finding a cow that had snuck onto campus, drinks, and even some hookah and pizza.  All in all, a damn good night. I feel much more prepared today for the work that will soon follow. 

EDIT: I lied, it was a terrible day.

Eureka!

I've finally figured it out. My air conditioner, which uses various symbols like water, snow, and triangles to configure, does have a timer OFF switch. It took me 20 minutes of testing, but I finally have that sweet, sweet hour of sleep between 5AM and 6AM unbroken by noisyness and the cold. I received a whole 7 hours of sleep last night. Seven. Hours. Unbroken. You wouldn't believe how it feels.

I also may have discovered the cause of stomach, which has been in some pain since the first weeks I arrived. While initially assuming it was caused by food, stress or even just low exercise, I'm fairly certain its actually the temperature in the library. Including a few heavier layers has really improved my functionality day to day.

With a midterm coming up, I haven't had much time to sleep, much less write. I've wanted to discuss the biggest contributors to my procrastination in the morning and the evening, how I've been hoping to deal with them. I've also wanted to talk about other factors, like the effects of nutrition and sleep debt on energy levels. However, each of these could be a post within itself. If I had the time, I could write chapters and chapters of easy solutions to big problems and cite the most up-to-date research on the various topics I've been dealing with, but sadly that's just not possible. It took me three days to even get this short post done.

Mini Test is tomorrow, see you on the flipside!

No True Scotsman

This marks the end of my fourth week of classes, and in all honestly it feels like it started last week. I'm somewhat surprised at what I can remember from the first weeks of class, enough that I can recognize some sort of long-term memories being made. For any that are familiar with Bloom's Taxonomy of Learning, I came to recognize shortly before my arrival that my entire undergraduate experience (and the resulting GPA) was very much so a product of being stuck on the first 2 levels, which consist of passive learning/memorization. Nowadays you can see me drawing arteries and dermatomes on myself or repeating ridiculous mnemonics involving singing oxes and sixties teens.

Nonetheless, Ive found that my focus as of late has been slipping. Whereas I kept a solid no-distractions policy during my initial weeks, I find myself more and more temped to visit Facebook/email/etc during the boring parts of lectures.  Every Friday evening, I see diminishing returns after 5pm, despite knowing that I must begin catching up the next morning. I used to feel threatened that friends could find the time to go swimming/snorkeling, but I just focus on myself these days. Hell, the reason I spend more time in the library is most likely because of my own distractions in studying as of late. Part of these distractions is no doubt in the beliefs in succeeding. Keeping your nose to the grindstone can be challenge when you expect results to go nowhere, and sadly the human brain is wired for lazyness.

Getting used to the idea of always being behind on your work is a very odd one, but every senior I've spoken with has confirmed that it is simply the reality of med school. Last night, in the midst of a glass of brandy, I realized a change of perception was necessary. I was always being chased by a wolf, and the farther I fell behind, the more the pressure of assignments, readings, and lectures would get to me. I'd start feeling the wolf biting at my ankles, and when I'd finally fall, well...that's the end.  I still spend my days trying to catch up. This, time, however, I'm the one chasing the wolf. The wolf is always faster and stronger you or I, but the only way to win the race is just to never give up.

Need to buy a machete....

Up for hours last night, couldn't sleep because there was no electricity and without an A/C and many open windows, the room gets really hot. Turns out one of the settings on the A/C unit that I accidentally initated a week ago put the electricity use on overdrive, and finished a month of electricity in half the time I expected. I can also say goodbye to a little bit of food in my fridge, but I haven't had the time to stock up on perishables lately, so its not a big loss, just some leftovers.

The anatomy TA session last night was quite educational, and somewhat helped allay my fears about the brachial plexus, but I still have a while to go before applying the nice and orderly drawing to the mess that is the human body. Furthermore, a break-in and confrontation between a student and hatchet-wielding burglar haven't added to my ease.

I was fortunate enough to receive a letter from a friend today, written on the back of a McDonald's napkin, as well as a review of the food and weather in Ireland. This puts it as letter number 2 that has been received! What are you waiting for, lazy Torontonians! It'll take a month to arrive, so get started soon.

 I have also taken the plunge and drank Starfruit juice for the first time, but I find the taste less palatable than many of the other fruits found on the island.

Schedule Zero

At 7pm last night, I was the closest I've been to catching up to the required hw since I started. Three more hours would have put me at the cusp of being proactive instead of reactive. Sadly, at 7:01 my brain just completely gave up. It was a bit disheartening to know all that work would carry over to the next day. I feel that part of the reason was the switchover last week to completing a lecture fully, instead of alternating every 30 minutes as I originally had planned. I've sequestered into blocks of 30 min, with 10 minutes between (of which I expect 5 minutes to be a break). My current schedule for the day looks as such:

• 10:30 - 11:00  =  watch anatomy of forearm lecture
• 11:10 - 11:40 = dr yin's lecture
• 11:50-12:40 = watch remainder of connective tissue lecture i was reviewing this morning
• 12:40-1:00 = lunch, relaxing walk on beach
• 1:00 - 1:30 = work on PBL assignment
• 1:40-2:20 = review arm/cubital fossa/forearm lecture

and so on and so forth until probably 8.

The other main difficulty I've been trying to overcome is just mood and happyness in general. I feel that general mood plays a huge role in my daily performance, and exploring new factors that stimulate it is a large and potentially useful area. However, happyness differs for everyone. I've found that studying around people instead of alone is much more stimulatory, and keeps me going for hours past the point at which I would otherwise give up. On some days, instead of going to the library I stuck on a deck that overlooks the ocean and distant parts of the curved island (though, not being a study area, this can be a loud area with annoying mosquitoes and dogs begging for food. and apparently spiders...). Sunlight and walks on the beach are also nice. I also found that even just the smell of coffee improves my mood.

Music is on and off, as it can be distracting for the brain (ever notice how in difficult traffic you always turn down the radio?) and I don't have the time to constantly search for new music that stimulates me. Going to the gym should work, but I have to haul everything on top of my heavy backpack, and not every workout is relaxing. Last night, for example, I sent an hour trying to tire my body out, but couldnt even get a good 20 minutes worth of exercise.  Food is good, but that can also be a stress response as well. Playing a few sports would be great, but takes more organization, and I don't know many students that currently participate in them. I find cooking to be somewhat relaxing, but haven't had a decent 30 minutes to myself in weeks now.

One last issue: the last few days I have been experiencing extreme dehydration. I would finish a liter of water, and my mouth would still feel dry, my throat parched. After ruling out several possible factors, I stopped drinking from my water bottle, and within a few hours the symptoms had dissipated. Overall a very odd experience. Despite their supposed new non-BPA formula, I dont think I will be returning to my Nalgene anytime soon.
Anyways, back to work. There goes my next three breaks.